Healthy vs. Happy

I'm going to be honest today. I'm trying to lose weight and become a shape for two reasons: to be healthier and to feel happier about myself.

The healthier bit is one that I believe most people, including my doctor, agree with. I need to lose weight, simply because it is not good to carry around extra weight for lots of reasons, including diabetes, heart disease, and cancer. Hence, why I want to lose some of it.

Now, it's time for a disclaimer: I am quite happy in regards to myself 90% of the time. I love my program and my career path, which allows me to contribute to the "greater good". I have amazing friends, a darling apartment, and I'm relatively healthy. However, the second someone reminds me that I'm still single at 26, that I can't afford a car, a Blackberry, or a trip to Europe, or that I won't look as good in a bikini as a size 4 model, the happiness starts to fade a little. Needless to say, I can be as shallow everyone else.

So how does happiness relate to my weight loss goal? The quick answer is: I want to look good in a bikini, I want to no longer have a muffin top, I want to make my ex-boyfriend jealous when he sees pictures of me on the internet. Now, I'm not too sure how these things are necessarily going to make me happier, going to make me feel better about myself, but I sometimes, those things are what are motivating me to workout. And sometimes, shallow motivation is better than no motivation at all.